


apple blossom

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit and Roman are barely in it, Fluff, Hair Washing, M/M, Sensory Overload, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, baths, intruality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23663005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Remus needs his hair washed. Patton is up for the job.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 29
Kudos: 242





	apple blossom

**Author's Note:**

> for anon prompt: "How about a Remus who really hates getting his hair washed and Patton having the patience of a saint and surprising upper body strength? (Maybe Remus is tiny, maybe he’s not, I’ll leave that to you)"

"I don't wanna," Remus insists, crossing his arms in front of his body and adopting a sulky expression. Patton sighs, running his fingers through the grey streak in Remus's hair.

"I know you don't," he says. "But you have pancake syrup all over the back of your head."

"Yeah, 'cause of _Roman_ ," Remus retorts.

"It was an accident!" Roman shouts from the living room. Remus glares in his brother's direction. Like he's actually supposed to believe that Roman just _accidentally_ tipped a bottle of syrup his way when he was cleaning up after breakfast.

All right, _perhaps_ it was an accident, but that didn't mean Remus wanted his hair washed.

"It's fine the way it is," he argues, but he knows his boyfriend's not going to buy it. In Patton's eyes, cleanliness is an art form. Remus gets away with a lot, but not even puppy dog eyes will convince Patton that he's good to wander around with his hair completely matted to his scalp with Canada's own maple syrup.

"Get it over with quickly," Deceit advises, running his fingers through his own unruly locks. His unruly, _clean_ locks. Remus makes a face.

"I have apple blossom shampoo, your favorite," Patton wheedles. Remus heaves an enormous put-upon sigh.

"Fine," he grumbles, willingly slipping his hand in Patton's and letting his boyfriend escort him to the bathroom.

"Bubble bath?" Patton asks. Remus nods. 

"Can I drink some?" He asks hopefully.

"No!" Patton exclaims. "It's not edible, sweetheart, we've been over this."

"You still let me eat deodorant," Remus points out. Patton laughs.

"That's because you replaced it with marshmallow fondant to mess with your brother and he still hasn't caught on," Patton says. Remus cackles. _Definitely_ one of his better ideas.

"Can I take a bath with all my clothes on?" Remus asks, his eyes bright. Patton considers it.

"If you want," he says with a fond smile. "I can just snap your clothes dry after."

Remus happily splashes into the bubble-shrouded bathtub, sending plumes of water everywhere. 

"This isn't going to be a fight, right?" Patton asks. Remus smiles innocently.

"Of course it will be!" He announces. "But that's what makes it so much _fun_!" Patton shakes his head, but Remus can see the amusement in his eyes.

"Okay, close your eyes," Patton directs. Obediently, Remus does so, his nose scrunched. Patton grabs the portable shower head and turns it on warm, carefully wetting Remus's hair. 

"Shampoo is next," Patton warns. Remus heaves up, hands clamped on either side of the tub, but Patton's prepared, gently but firmly pushing down on his shoulders, no matter how much he twists around. The water sloshes around Remus, soaking his clothes.

"Are you sure I can't just go around with syrup hair?" Remus asks, making one last ditch attempt. "It sounds fun! I could try to stick to walls by my head!"

"Remus," Patton says, catching his boyfriend's attention. It's time to settle this once and for all. "Why don't you like your hair washed?"

"Doesn't feel good," Remus says. "Like a bunch of worms wriggling on my head."

"What if you did the scrubbing?" Patton bargains. "Would it still feel like worms if it were your fingers?" Remus shrugs.

"Dunno," he says. "I could try, I guess."

"Okay," Patton says, summoning the apple blossom shampoo. "Let's try that then. I'm going to put the shampoo on, and you try scrubbing your scalp. Make sure you work on the syrup, okay?"

"Okay," Remus says, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Patton squeezes a generous dollop on the top of Remus's head. 

"Cold," Remus remarks. His hands gingerly settle on his scalp, massaging the shampoo in. 

It goes surprisingly well-

Until he hits the syrup-matted bits in the back. His fingers curl up in automatic defense, his entire face scrunching up in an expression of utmost disgust.

"Can't," he says, shaking his head so hard bits of shampoo foam come flying off like scraps of whipped cream. "Nope, nope, nope, screw that-"

"Do you want me to take over?" Patton asks. Eyes wet with unshed tears, Remus nods, miserable. Patton carefully scoops up some of the shampoo not yet worked in and starts to work on the congealed syrup-laden strands.

Remus jerks away again, on autopilot, but Patton pulls him back, one hand constantly working at getting the syrup out. Once Remus has managed to settle a little, he grabs the shower head again and sprays the back of Remus's head, squinting to see if he's made any progress.

"Almost done!" He announces cheerfully. "Just a little bit more, okay?" Remus vibrates in place, nodding.

"Hurry up," he manages to eke out. "Please."

"Of course," Patton reassures him. True to his word, he's rinsing the last bits of shampoo out of Remus's hair only a few minutes later. Remus looks up at him with undisguised relief, one hand going to the back of his head and finding only soft, freshly washed hair back there.

"Thank you," he mumbles. "Sorry."

"Thank you for telling me why you don't like it," Patton says. "Have you ever tried dry shampoo?" Remus shakes his head. "It wouldn't have helped this time, but you spray it in your hair and comb it through," Patton explains. "It might be easier."

Patton immediately finds himself driven back with the force of a sopping wet lapful of boyfriend, soggy arms squeezing around his middle.

"You're the _best_ ," Remus declares, wiggling on the bathroom floor, half in and half out of the bathtub.

"I believe that title belongs to you," Patton says, booping Remus on the nose. Remus giggles.

"No, you," he says.

"All right, it's both of us," Patton compromises. Remus sighs happily and rests his wet head against Patton's chest.

"Your heart goes thud thud thud," Remus announces. "I like it."

"Oh?" Patton asks. Remus grins.

"It's one of my favorite sounds in the world," he says. Splotches of color rise high on Patton's face. Remus snickers. "Made ya blush!" He crows. Patton tsks under his breath, helping Remus fully out of the tub and snapping him and his clothes dry. 

"Smell," Remus says, thrusting the top of his head under Patton's nose. Patton smiles.

"Apple," he says. "Your hair smells like your shampoo."

"You think I can get Roman to smell my hair?" Remus asks. "I was gonna tell him it smells like dead rat."

"Remus!" Patton exclaims, but he can't stop laughing. "I can't stop you," he says. Remus beams smugly.

"I know," he says.


End file.
